We are so excited for you and this new journey in your life. Preparing for marriage is one of the very best investments of your time and energy that you will ever make.
We never enter a marriage covenant thinking that it will end someday. We say, “I do”, and it means forever…, but we are finding that we live in a society where commitment is short-term, relationships are in turmoil, as a result, the marriage union is a fragile covenant.
At Refuge, we believe marriage is a covenant. God’s Word says that what He has joined together, no man should part. We do our best to give you tools prior to marriage to prevent surprises once you are married.
Prior to Counseling
Premarital counseling is conducted one-on-one with the prospective couple. We strongly encourage a minimum six-months of engagement, after a time of getting to know one another. One year of relationship building before engagement is a good “guide” to follow. Keeping in mind that people generally “put their best foot forward” during the courtship, it’s important that you have ample time to see each other for who they are—really are!
Sharing a variety of experiences will allow you to know one another in multiple situations. That includes interaction with friends, family; how you respond during a disagreement, with grief, disappointment, etc.. is all part of who you are!
How it Works
There are a total of 9 sessions included in premarital counseling. You and your counselors will set up a schedule to meet. Each time you meet, you will discuss a different topic.
For each topic, there is a homework assignment. Homework assignments are completed on an individual basis. The first time you will see your partner’s answers is when you meet with the counselors.
It is important that when answering the questions you be painstakingly honest. Knowing that there should be no surprises when you enter into a covenant “agreement”, we see marriage as a covenant—for life!
Our Expectations As Counselors
Church attendance. We ask that you commit to attend church weekly. If you live out of the area (50 miles or more), you can attend a church in your area weekly, if you cannot make it here. It is important that you have a spiritual commitment prior to the wedding to ensure your spiritual commitment after the wedding.
If Refuge is the church you attend prior to marriage, we ask that you make a minimum of a six-month commitment to attend on a weekly basis after you are married. This is to ensure your spiritual stability in establishing a solid foundation in your marriage.
Sexual purity. We honor marriage as God intended it to be according to His Word. We believe that the sexual and physical relationship is to be reserved for marriage.
Financial support. If you consider yourself a member of Refuge, financial support means a contributing/tithing member. As the ministry grows, so do the needs of the people. Realizing that premarital counseling takes a minimum of 25 hours, we believe we need to be sowing back into the lives of those who are committed to the ministry of Refuge. If you have not been contributing financially up to this point and have questions, we will be happy to discuss this issue with you. It is important that you do not do something without understanding; it needs to be a conviction of your heart, not a dutiful obligation.
Regular scheduled counseling appointments. Please call us at least one hour prior to the appointment if you are not able to make your scheduled time. If something should come up for your counselors, they will also contact you one hour in advance to reschedule.
Areas Covered in Premarital Counseling
Relationship Information— How You Met, Personal Convictions, Your Analysis of Love, Spiritual Compatibility, Myers Briggs Temperament/Personality Test, Your Personality, Marriage Expectations, Communication, Finances, Sexual Purity and Intimacy, Children, Practicalities Before and After Marriage, and Parent Relationships/In-laws.
The Cost
To hold the auditorium for the ceremony, a 50% non-refundable payment is due 90 days prior to the wedding date. All fees must be paid in full 30 days prior to the rehearsal.
Premarital Counseling is conducted in a private setting, therefore the commitment involved between the counselors and the premarital couple is quite extensive.
Contributing members of Refuge are not charged for premarital counseling. If a child of someone who is a contributing member (completed Refuge Life) gets married at Refuge and is counseled by our staff, counseling is also a benefit for the member’s child.
Let us know if you are interested!
If you have decided that you’d like to proceed with premarital counseling, please fill out the form below. After an initial time of consultation, subsequent meeting times will be established. Counseling sessions are scheduled at times that work best for the couple, as well as the counselors; generally about once every 2-3 weeks.